{National Infertility Week // Our Story}


Today I am changing things up a bit. Instead of the normal Five on Friday I wanted to talk about infertility. This week is National Infertility Week {April 23rd through the 29th} which is a week to bring awareness to infertility. I am sharing our story and journey through infertility. We are currently about 5 years {combined} into this ride and now in secondary infertility.

Infertility - the facts...
According to the CDC infertility is defined as not being able to conceive after one year.
1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. That's about 15% of people.
1/3 have to do with problems with the female, 1/3 is male, and 1/3 are both male and female.

Our Story - The Beginning...
Our journey to parenthood begins all the way back in 2006. Actually, by way of prayer, it was long before then. 2006 is when we actively started trying to expand our family. I had this {very naive} vision in my head that it would all happen easily and in perfect sequence. Meet my guy, fall in love, get married, have a baby. Easy enough. Or not. Month after month I would feel defeated and broken even upon receiving that negative test. I tortured myself with monthly tests for 11 months or better until I just couldn't take the heartache any longer. I thought of every 'why' question in the book. Why me? What's wrong with me? Maybe I need to take better vitamins? Drink more water? Exercise more? Pray harder? And wouldn't you know that everyone I seemed to know started announcing their pregnancy one after another around this time. And naturally my thoughts would be 'why was it so easy for them and so hard for me'? Why can't I have a baby? Why am I so broken? I promise I would be a good mama and love that baby something fierce.

Looking back at this time, of all of these thoughts and questions going through my head one thing is evident. How little faith I had in God's plan and timing. I wanted things to happen the way I wanted them to and when I wanted them to. But, the Lord answered my prayers anyway. In 2009 we found out we were {finally} expecting our first baby. Mercy, this brings me to tears. He didn't have to, but He did. I didn't deserve it, but he gave me my little Mason Lane anyway. What a gracious and wonderful Father He is. Three years later, in His precious timing, He gave us a baby.

I can honestly and 100% say that I enjoyed every minute of being pregnant and didn't take a single second of it for granted. And when I neared my due date and so desperately wanted to meet Mason a small part of me was sad to not be pregnant anymore. But then Mason was born and I quickly forgot about those feelings. I was holding my little miracle in my arms and nothing could top that, ever. Thank you, Lord.


Secondary infertility & miscarriages...
We started trying for baby #2 in January of 2015. And once again I so naively thought it would happen easy and fast. I have no idea why I let myself get my hopes up in that sort of way. I guess I just thought since I already had a baby that my body would just know what to do. I mean, makes sense, right? Or not. Thirteen months later I found myself with a positive pregnancy test. Elated. Ecstatic. And almost in disbelief. But sadly that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage weeks later. You can read the full story here. This miscarriage was my first and it wrecked me in more ways than I can count. Never in a million years did a miscarriage ever cross my mind. It's just one of those things you think would never happen to you. And then it does and it changes you forever.

My doctor confirmed it was a perfect {meaning my body did what it was supposed to on it's own and no medical intervention was needed} miscarriage. She suggested that I give my body a month or so to adjust and then we were free to try again. So we did just that.

Fast forward to the beginning of March 2017 when we experienced our 2nd miscarriage. I haven't shared about this miscarriage on the blog yet. Not for any particular reason, I just haven't. Close church friends, family and some blog friends knew about it. Not to discount the fact that it was indeed another miscarriage and loss, but this was one easier to get through. Having had one before I knew exactly what to expect. And it happened a lot sooner into my pregnancy than the first. Also, I should note that my faith is stronger than ever and that is a major factor in helping me to get through it. I know God has a perfect plan for my life and I have complete trust in that.

We are now 26 - almost 27 months into our journey with secondary infertility. We are still trying, but trusting in God's perfect timing.

I've shared before, but I am clinging to this beautiful song. He is in the waiting!

Questions I'm most often asked...
1.) Have you been tested to see what the problem is?
I have had blood work done and nothing abnormal shows up except for my bum thyroid. I am also 36 years old. I have not had any extensive testing done.

2.) Would you consider IVF or other intervention?
Honestly, this is not something that ever crosses our mind. I don't think we could afford it, anyhow.

3.) What about adoption?
As of right now we have no plans to adopt. If the Lord leads us to that then I am confident we would be obedient to his calling.

If you have any other questions feel free to send them my way!

12 comments

  1. Thank you for sharing this post sweet friend. Even though I already knew these things it still makes my heart hurt reading it. You are so strong and I love your positivity and believing in God's plan. Mason is so lucky to have you and Nathan as his parents. Any other baby will be just as lucky.

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  2. Such a heartfelt post. You are one of the strongest women I know and so brave for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for all the heartache you've experienced, but you have THE best attitude possible. I hope and pray that God gives you another little baby. You deserve it after all...and don't even say otherwise, girl--you know it's true!! You are THE best mama and Mason would make THE best brother!!!! Lots of love, hang in there, friend!

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  3. Thank you for sharing your story, friend! You have such a wonderful attitude. I'm praying for you.

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  4. Oh Crystal, I'm so sorry to hear that you just went through another one. I pray that you are blessed with another perfect baby very soon. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you, sweet friend!

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  5. I'm sorry to hear about your 2nd miscarriage. We had trouble getting pregnant with our first and we had to have interventions to help. Things seemed to straighten out for the next 2. I know I'm so lucky for that reason!

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  6. I love you Crystal and your faith is so strong and beautiful. I keep you in my prayers and thoughts always, friend.

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  7. You have such a beautiful faith and outlook on this. I don't know two people more deserving to be parents than you two and I'm gonna be so happy for you guys when that time to expand your family finally arrives. Thanks for sharing your story my friend.

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  8. Crystal, you are seriously one of the strongest people I know. Your outlook on life and everything that it is is always positive, even through the ups and downs. I hope that you and Nate can one day become parents again. You love Mason something fierce and I know you would to another child as well as would Nate and I know Mason would be the best big brother. My thoughts are with you guys.

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  9. Thank you for sharing your story! That isn't easy for so many people. I'm so sorry to hear of your two angel babies! Such a difficult thing to go through and it's so good you have such strong faith! I always had a suspicion I wouldn't be able to conceive easily so it didn't come as a surprise even though it rocked my world upside down and then some. I still struggle heari pregnancy announcements! And isn't being pregnant the best! But yes. Two years to get pregnant with my first. Second came easily thank god. Third needed help as well to conceive. Oh the hormones and the tests and the shots and the IUI's and the money! But so worth it! It's not easy!!

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  10. Thank you so much for sharing your story friend. Your confidence in God and His goodness is such a beautiful testimony.

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  11. Oh momma. You are so strong and your faith is unwavering. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
    xo

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  12. I am so so sorry to hear about your recent loss! I know how badly you want another baby. I hope you are healing & trusting that in perfect timing you will have another!

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Thanks for the comments! Hope you are having an amazing day!!